Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Good days, and Bad days.

Im feeling kind of blah. I am utterly exhausted, and have been for the last couple of days. Not sure why, I think I just need a vacation!

So i think i'm having a couple of bad days, not really bad. Just off. We went to our neices bday party and I just felt so out of place. All the kids just confirm for me that it IS what I want, and just remind me of how long it will be before I get there, how long it's already been. Next bday will be the other neice, she'll be 1. Already. That will be tough. No matter how much I think i'm ok with this whole thing. It will be hard to keep a smile on my face. Just knowing that I've been trying since before her mom got pregnant with her and now she's 1 will be difficult.

Sometimes the passage of time is just a horrible reminder.

2 comments:

Deathstar said...

Hi, I don't know your whole history, but I just wanted to let you know, from an old lady, that I have had the same thoughts and emotions as you at one point or another. If you need a break to get back to "you", then that's what you should do. I tried for so many years to get pregnant and lost myself along the way. You don't have to give up hope, you just need to nurture yourself. Find joy again. It's not easy, but it's possible.

Lori said...

I remember how hard it was when both of my younger sisters had babies. It IS energy draining!

Can you pamper yourself and find ways to refresh?

I wish you better days, Devonmarie.