Monday, February 9, 2009

Decision? Made.

We're holding off on ANYTHING. Indefinitely.

I HATE that it's come to this. But it's what I want right now, hell its what I NEED right now.

I know deep down that trying again with my eggs won't work. That it won't be worth the shots and the meds, and the cost. That it will only lead to more heartache.

But im not ready to make a decision about getting a Donor. I don't know when I will be. So that means this babymaking business goes on hold. We don't have the money for it right now anyways, but I swear I didn't let that play into my decision at all.

I've been so focused on trying to have a baby for the last 2 years, that I've forgotten everything else that I am. There are so many things that I want to do, and so many things I can fill my life with. I just have to pull the motivation from somewhere to do them all.

Exercise-I want to lose at least 30 pounds, I want to wear a bikini again!
Organize our photos
Take more pictures
Take a cake decorating class
Be more creative, paint and write

Thats all on my agenda now. I have a good life, and i'm not going to let it waste away and be miserable thinking about the one thing that I don't have.

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