I am utterly and absolutely confused.
I have no idea what to do now.
I have no idea what I even want to do now.
I want to cry at the prospect of having to make a decision.
I feel better not thinking about it, and just pushing it to the back of my mind. I know that no one can make this decision for me, but I can't seem to make one either.
I just want to have a child. A family, my own family. I NEVER ever thought it would be this hard.
The only thing I know for sure is that i'm not ready to give up on actually being pregnant, and delivering a baby.
But it's the details I can't for the life of me figure out. I'm pretty sure I feel ok with the Donor egg. But am I positive? I don't know.
If only money didn't matter, Patrick says to not look at it that way, but come on we're not wealthy. I have to.