Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Something fishy is going on

Apparently my neighbors dog had to be taken to the vet, and as it turns out it looks like he was poisoned. As of last night he was still alive, in the vet, but very very sick.

Patrick was out talking to him and our neighbor told Pat what had happened to his dog. Pat then mentioned that Frankie had died out of the blue 2 weeks ago, neighbor then said that their cat was very sick around that time too, and had been taken to the vet.

Turns out the neighbor with the sick dog, doesn't get along with the neighbors that just moved in behind us. Something about his dog ran into their yard when they were moving in and scared the new neighbors kids. I guess the new neighbor and him shared some words.

The police were at my neighbors house talking about it last night.

My poor Frankie-I hate to think that she might have been poisoned.

What kind of monster would poison someone's Pet?

If it turns out to be true-there is going to be hell to pay.

I live in limbo land

Well, I've finished that month of pills. I go Saturday morning to for an ultrasound to see if the cyst is gone.

I don't feel like it is. I'm still having some pain. Hopefully it's at least smaller. I'm prepared to be on the pill for longer, I have a feeling that is what is going to happen. I just hope it's gone, im scared that the doctor will tell me I need to have it removed.

I don't like it, but what choice do I have.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I just want a baby.

Is that too much to ask for?

Apparently it is.

I'm down today, real down. 2 pregnant girls at work is 2 much to take.

I feel useless.

I'm mad cause life sucks and it isn't fair. How mature is that?

I wish I could make myself not want it anymore, then all these horrible feeling might go away.

Next week I should be going back to the doctor's. I don't expect any good news then either, I can't anymore.

I just want to be done with this.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Another one.

Another pregnant woman at work, in my department.

I swear someone up there is fucking with me.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Im cursed.

Really.
Life just sucks right now.

I know I should be thankful for what I do have and yada yada yada.
But im not.

It's just too much and im overwhelmed.

Patrick is starting to feel the same way as I feel, we just keep getting knocked down. Nothing good ever happens for us.

I cant get pregnant no matter hard I try. I've been put on birth control for god knows how long. ( hopefully the cyst will be gone-but with my luck i doubt it) There is a good chance that we'll have to use an egg donor. We'll probably be broke if/when we finally do get pregnant.
And the icing on the cake, My cat died. It just keeps getting worse. I don't even want to speculate what will happen next.

I want to run away and start over. No matter how much I hope for good news, it never happens. I need some, cause I can't fake being happy anymore.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

RIP Frankie




We'll miss you Frankenmonster.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Halfway

Im halfway through my pills!
2 more weeks!

Only 2 more weeks till we find something out-Good or bad. Im ready.

I just hope it's not that the cyst is still hanging around-cause that means more pills and more waiting and doing nothing.

I'm ready to get this show on the road!

Friday, September 5, 2008

1 week down,

3 more weeks of pills to go.

This is going to be the longest 3 weeks of my life.

3 more weeks until I know something, I need some answers no matter what they may be.